Sometimes, for whatever reason, a book just falls completely flat. It doesn’t outrage or even entertain, it just drifts in and out of your life and leaves absolutely no trace whatsoever. Generally, I let these books drift off without a fight and they leave no mark on this blog. However, because there have been so many of them in my reading this year, I thought I’d take a moment to catalogue a handful of them:
Nightingale Wood by Stella Gibbons – this was to have been my book for the 1938 Club. It’s been on my shelf for five or six years now and I’ve tried starting it more times than I can count, which should have probably clued me in that I wasn’t going to love it. I laboured through the first half, more out of interest in participating in the 1938 Club than interest in the book, before finally giving up. There is a reason Gibbons is only remembered for Cold Comfort Farm.
Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld – a retelling of Pride and Prejudice by an author I usually enjoy should have been a sure thing. It was not. There is something doomed about “The Austen Project”, which challenges popular authors to write contemporary updates of Austen’s novels (see previous duds from Joanna Trollope, Alexander McCall Smith, and Val McDermid) and this was no exception. Set in modern-day Cincinnati, anything you might once have liked about the Bennets has been stripped away. Lizzie, who is judgemental and gossipy in the original but young and charming enough to pull it off, is in her late thirties here and really not even remotely charming. But there are so many other characters vying to be the most irritating that Lizzie fades into the background. Jane, perfect Jane!, has never learned to function as self-supporting adult, which is most distressing, and Darcy is turned into a surgeon, surely the most obvious cliché in a novel full of them. I have nothing good to say about this one except good luck to whatever doomed souls attempt the remaining books in “The Austen Project”.
The Summer Before the War by Helen Simonson – probably the least offensive of the duds I’m talking about here and one I might even be convinced to revisit eventually. Simonson is trading on the current interest in WWI-era stories, which I would usually view as a good thing. However, I have clearly over-indulged in the era and had no stomach left for this rather slight and predictable tale. If you’re looking for good WWI home front drama, get your fill with the BBC’s ambitious and absorbing radio program.
Kitchens of the Great Midwest by J. Ryan Stradal – the most hipster thing I think I have ever read (even as – especially as? – it pokes fun at hipsters).
A Winter Away by Elizabeth Fair – Scott at Furrowed Middlebrow loved this and hooked me with a comparison to Angela Thirkell. Unfortunately, I did not see the resemblance. It’s a simple story of a young woman who comes to stay with a relative and her companion while working as a secretary for a crotchety older gentleman. As you do in books published in 1957. There are two eligible young men floating around and a very pale secondary romance. Told without humour or any literary competence, it is utterly and completely forgettable.
Not Working by Lisa Owens – After leaving her job with no plans except the vague idea that there must be something better out there but with no real inclination to determine what that is, Claire Flannery does absolutely nothing. For the length of the entire book.
Where is Emma Butler’s Life Plan? by Julia Wilmot – Harriet was charmed by this simply told story of guardian angels trying to sort out the mess they’ve made of a woman’s life. I found it a little too simple (even for poolside reading while I was on holiday), though it did bring back pleasant memories of other novels that use the same concept of heavenly or at least otherworldly observers but with more fleshed out characters (Marian Keyes’ The Brightest Star in the Sky being a prime example).
The Wild Girl by Kate Forsyth – I really wanted to like this novel about Dortchen Wild, who grew up next door to the Grimm brothers, shared stories with them for their collection, and eventually married Wilhelm Grimm. Instead, it felt like bad young adult fiction. I found it full of awkward dialogue that tried to shoehorn political discussions into unnatural situations (do you want to hear about Napoleon on every other page? No? Tough luck), an abuse storyline that felt manufactured solely to add darkness and the illusion of depth, and very flat characters. There is a lot of telling and not a lot of showing when it comes to the storytelling, which is never enjoyable. And really just so much about Napoleon, which usually I would view as a good thing but not this time. I still like the concept but found the execution lacking.
The good news is there have been lots of wonderful books to make up for these duds and hopefully I’ll find the time to talk about them soon. There have been fascinating memoirs about growing up in Russia before the revolution, finding love in Italy, and walking the Camino de Santiago in Spain, and absorbing novels about a fun loving woman trying (and largely failing) to be respectable for her daughter’s sake, a family trying to keep their home intact by opening it to the public in post-war England, and a young woman navigating the world following her mother’s sudden death, assisted by her impractical aunt and a host of retired admirals.
The Captive Reader 
In addition to spreading the word on wonderful books the reader might not have heard of, it is also a very valuable function of a talented book blogger to warn us off from a few duds! Much appreciated.
That is a great point, Diana. I’m a little wary of giving absolute judgements, since I know that books I dislike may be adored by some of my closest blogging friends (and vice versa), but it is always interesting to have another reader’s perspective, good or bad.
People will always know it’s only your personal opinion, and the service isn’t just saying that bad books are bad – but that bad books that are widely touted in the media, like Eligible and The Summer Before the War, are also not so good! That saves people some real money, that does. (Not that I’d have read Eligible anyway. The reviews were pretty universally awful.)
I haven’t been impressed by the Austen Project either. I’m always impressed with a new-to-me Dessie. Just found Emily Denistoun–very nice!
Glad to hear you enjoyed Emily Denistoun. That’s one I haven’t read yet.
I’m wondering why it never got published in her day. It needs some editing but it rings of her usual strong characterization and red herrings.
I’ve avoided the Austen re-writes on the back of the James Bond updates series – lot of duds in those too!
There are some really fun Austen-inspired works out there (for example, A.A.Milne’s stage adaptation of Pride and Prejudice or “Clueless”, the brilliant modern adaptation of Emma) but Eligible is not one of them!
I avoid any kind of Austen retelling. People keep recommending me these books, but ughhh just no.
I have nothing against Austen retellings, just bad ones!
Your summary of Not Working cracked me up! I think I would find that chatacter and her story annoying.
I’ll look forward to hearing more about the books that you are enjoying. I’ve been trying to figure out what they might be from your descriptions.
I too thought the review of Not Working was a brilliant potted put-down. Very amusing.
Thanks, David!
What stumps me is that Not Working is getting good reviews in the press. There’s even one in today’s Financial Times. Bizarre.
My question is how far do you go before giving up on a book? I can only take the first 10 or so pages before it goes in the “return to library” bag. There’s too many books to explore and more and more duds….I don’t belong to the school of “if it’s published, it’s worth reading”.
I’m usually pretty ruthless when it comes to abandoning books but these were not quite bad enough to make me stop early on. There was at least the hope they’d improve. As it was, they remained solidly mediocre.
Oh well, not every book can succeed for every reader! I’m so glad to hear you have some good ones to tell us about soon too — I’m especially curious about those retired admirals.
They are delightful, the admirals! I hope to talk more about them before too long.
At least three of these are on my wish list, but suddenly the urge to read them is not as urgent. I appreciate your opinions.
Thanks. I’ve seen glowing reviews for all of these books elsewhere so it really does come down to a matter of taste.
I was so relieved to read these reviews! I have been trying to read The Summer Before the War and wondering why it fell flat for me when the subject matter had appealed so much. Now I can give up and know it’s not just me. I also read Emma Butler’s Life Plan and thought it was quite slight and wished I hadn’t spent those hours on it. And I tracked down a copy of A Winter Away when Scott raved about it, but wondered if I was missing something because it didn’t do anything for me. I’ve had three duds in a row so I’m really hoping you can do at least mini-reviews of the books you did like–even just mention some titles for me–to take away the taste of bad books.
Sounds like we have very similar tastes, Erika! I do plan to review the books I mentioned but, since you are clearly in need some good reading, here are the titles to get you started:
A House by the Dvina by Eugenie Fraser (Russia)
Only in Naples by Katherine Wilson (Italy)
I’m Off Then by Hape Kerkeling (Spain)
The Nutmeg Tree by Margery Sharp (fun loving woman)
The Half-Crown House by Helen Ashton (stately home in post-war England)
Campari for Breakfast by Sara Crowe (impractical aunt and retired admirals)
Hope you find a winning book soon!
Thank you so much, Claire! I really did need a good read… I was able to buy or borrow all of these books (although luckily I have just about every Margery Sharp book, including a very expensive copy of Rhododendron Pie) and am really enjoying Only in Naples and A House by the Dvina right now. I also love when you share the lighter novels you read and enjoy–I mean, I love Trollope, but sometimes I need something light and you introduced me to Hester Browne, for which I shall be ever grateful!
I had been seeing those Stella Gibbons reprints and wondering if I should read them and why I had not heard of them before! ( I think I like the updated covers..). I am going to confess that I have never been attracted by retreads or continuations of classics; It seems like cheating to poach someone else’s plots and characters and add to them or modernize them or just turn them inside out. That said, I will probably remember an example of this that I like tomorrow.
I’m a bit like and reluctant to reveal my nays rather than my yays because I know that reading taste is so indiividual. But, I know our tastes are similar, so I enjoy hearing your views in either direction.
It’s much easier for me to write a scathing review of a book I loathed than to write about books like these that don’t excite strong emotion either way. In fact, the scathing reviews are generally my favourite ones to write. These were just disappointments but it felt good to get them off my chest, especially since I’d seen positive reviews for these books elsewhere. I knew I couldn’t be the only one who didn’t enjoy them so it’s good to have both perspectives out there.
I have seen those Austen retellings in bookshops. They seem to be asking to be compared to the originals, so I am not surprised they are duds.
In vain have I struggled. It will not do. I must and shall inform you that lurking in your midst is a leading Austenite variationist whose work is (ahem) rather nicely written and amusing! My play about Austen and Bronte is having its English debut at Chawton House Library on May 13, and…I am not ashamed! 🙂 Seriously, there are indeed some ghastly Austen sequels and spinoffs, and these Austen Project updatings seem to be particularly clumsy. But there are some very good books as well – Jo Baker’s Longbourn is one. The trouble is that they’re all similarly hyped and it is hard for a casual reader to distinguish the good from the chaff – with the result that when a major publisher hypes a bad book like Eligible, all the people who got cheated think “Austen sequels stink.” A shame, for such as I…but I came to my strange task decades before the Austen movies and zombies polluted Pemberley, and I cannot change now!
Having lived in the US Midwest for all of my married life..52 years and counting.. I was looking forward to reading about Great Kitchens..tried it for a few pages and decided it just wasn’t for me. The other big disappointment of the current new book season was tTHE SUMMER BEFORE THE WAR. I LOVED Major Pettigrew and was able to see/hear Helen Sinonson at a Tucson Festival of the Book panel (shared with Lis Genova and Jamie Ford) some years ago. She was so articulate and witty. I think it was the formal language in TSBTW that did me in..did friends/family members really speak to each other in such a stilted fashion?
I hope you are able to add titles to the memoirs listed at the end of your recent post. I have suggested that the theme for our Monday Literary Society in 2016-17 is Women’s Stories/Memoirs. Looks like you have an intrigueing selection.Thank you.
I liked the first section of Great Kitchens, focused on her father, but nothing else about the book engaged me.
See my response to Erika above for the titles of the books I alluded to. Lots of great reading there!
OH, can I ask on behalf of a friend of mine who hates Curtis Sittenfeld with a passion, is anybody in Eligible an architect? She said she doesn’t want to read the book but badly wants to know if anyone in it has the rom-com job of architect. :p
No architects to be seen.
Some of those are on my dud list, too (I’m looking at you, Nightingale Wood and The Wild Girl). I’d love to hear about your pre-revolutionary Russia reading – I enjoyed A House on the Dvina immensely.
Always reassuring to hear from other people who dislike the same books as I! Hoping to write about A House by the the Dvina soon but I certainly enjoyed it a lot.
Thanks for your refreshing honesty.I feel happy to know that Elizabeth Fair is not very good.I am relieved i did not try to buy her books.
Just read all 6 by E.FAIR—the first 2 are busy scenes of village life but books 4 to 6 are tired/standard romances/duds.Devoid of humour or merit.