As I mentioned in this morning’s Library Lust post, this has been a strange week. Thank you everyone for your supportive comments; your kind words mean a lot. I have been a little dazed for the past few days – so much so that I haven’t even been able to concentrate on reading, never mind reviewing – but I think my brain is starting to function again.
Work has been stressful for a while now but, ever since a plan to eliminate about a quarter of the workforce over the next couple of years (almost 5,000 people) was revealed, the anxiety levels have gone through the roof. This week I learned that my job (as well as the jobs of everyone I work with) is being eliminated and that by the end of February I will most likely be terminated. They are trying to find other jobs for us in the rest of the organization but since I telecommute and live far from head office there probably won’t be anything for me.
It is exactly what I had expected and been planning for but for some reason it was still a bit of a shock. I was planning to leave the company in 2013 anyways, being ready for a new challenge after having spent two years in my most recent role, and had started plotting my next moves. I’ve already enrolled in the courses I need to take for the designation I’m hoping to pursue and was beginning to set up informational interviews with professionals in that field. For me, the timing of all this could not have been better. So why was I upset?
I think the main reason is because I know how devastated many of my work mates are. I am so thankful to no longer be at head office, knowing how terrible the situation there must be after these announcements, but I still have many friends there who are affected by these changes. People with families and mortgages who, unlike me, don’t have several years’ worth of salary saved up and plans already formed for what to do next. Working with them is going to be difficult over the next few months. I am excited (though, of course, a little nervous) about moving on; I don’t expect that to be the general feeling.
But my shock also just comes down to the fact that for the first time in my life I am not the one in charge of the decision making. I am excited about what I am planning to do next but there is a big difference between being in control of a change and being at the mercy of others. Before, I had been planning while thinking things would happen according to a timeline I would have at least a little say in. Now, the timeline has been dictated by others. It is one that is very close to what I would have chosen but still, I love to be in control and, for once, I am not. It is a good experience for me, I know that, but it has taken me a couple of days to adjust. I am not angry or bitter, not depressed or discouraged. I am just a bit shaken.
The most exciting thing about this termination is that it means I have the luxury of taking some time off. I started working immediately after graduating university (having been hired while I was studying) and have worked steadily at the same company since then so I am rather excited at the idea of being able to take a trip without worrying about how many of my vacation days it will use up. Barring any major developments, I’ll be driving down to Palm Desert in early March, spending a few weeks there, heading back to Vancouver for April and some of May (to study and meet with some of my professional contacts), and then setting off in late May or early June for a month or more in Europe. Hopefully, I’ll be able to meet up with some other book bloggers as I wander about (and yes, I’ll be visiting England this year)!
It’ll be an interesting few months at work between now and the end of February but in many ways it is so much nicer to know the worst rather than to be uncertain and constantly worrying about what many come next. I love the people I work with and look forward to spending a few more months with them but I am even more excited about what I’ll be doing after we go our separate ways.
The Captive Reader 
Even with warning of these times coming, it is still a shock and change. I’m sure you will land exactly where you need to be, and wish you the best as you work toward that.
Pal, Desert then Europe – what wonderful places to look forward to.
Hi Claire, so glad to hear you will be able to “bounce” from this one. It’s a nasty & supremely humbling feeling to be out of control, though, isn’t it?
It is extremely hard for those in mid-child rearing years & paying off huge mortgages; I can definitely relate to the lack of a financial cushion; been there & done that & get stressed just thinking about it. Not much cushion right now, come to think of it.
Condolences to your co-workers; hopefully some of those alternative placements work out for them. Though often these types of things kick us into new situations which ultimately turn out for the best, it’s brutal while it’s happening. 😦
Claire, that must be a very difficult situation to be in. I hate the feeling of not being in control and I can imagine that that must be tough. At least you have other options open though, so in a way you are in control of what happens after (to some extend?).
As for your plans to take some time off, those sound great! If you are ever near again, I would gladly volunteer for a meet-up.
I hope things turn out as you want them to turn out.
I can already read that you will never find yourself at the “mercy” of others. You’re well organised and can immediately adapt to the new circumstances. Take good care of yourself Claire, and keep up with your plans – all will be great!
Claire, I’m so sorry to hear this. I can well imagine how tense things have been since word of the coming reductions got out – but it is still a shock when it actually happens. I’m so impressed with your preparations, and glad that you will have time and space to catch your breath – and envious of your travel plans 🙂 I know you will keep us posted.
A challenge I’ve been through (and survived), and I just know that you will too. Wishing you all the best.
All the very best to you and your co workers for the future. Times are tough right around the world but sounds like you’re bouncing back all right. Best wishes and maybe one day your travels will include Tasmania, the most beautiful island in the world. Pam (I’m not biased)
You know what Claire, I think this is a blessing in disguise. I am so like you – I LOVE control and hate it when it’s taken away from me – but whenever my hand has been forced it’s been the most incredible experience to be thrown in at the deep end and then actually realise I can make it back to the edge of the pool on my own. It shows you what you’re made of and opens up doors for you that you’d never otherwise have pushed on. You sound so positive anyway – making plans to travel is brilliant, and definitely something you can’t do when you’re counting up holiday allowance – and you’ve been incredibly forward thinking and have a plan for the future anyway. I know exactly what this feels like – before I left my job for teaching everyone was being made redundant and I felt terrible for having money saved, a plan and a home to go back to when many of my colleagues were terrified about how they were going to pay their mortgages and keep their kids fed while they got a new job. But the timeframe your company has given is generous and they have every chance of getting new jobs. Focus on your future now – what wonderful opportunities there are ahead of you – and as one control freak to another – I know you’ll make sure everything works out. 🙂 AND WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER WHEN YOU COME TO ENGLAND AND BE CONTROL FREAKS TOGETHER!!!
Claire, Good luck to you and all your colleagues as you navigate the tricky waters just ahead. Perhaps this beautiful song can offer you all a little “Hope”: http://yvonnelyon.bandcamp.com/track/hope (Free to listen, the price is for a download.)
Claire, while this is an unhappy and stressful situation, it’s really wonderful that you were personally prepared and are even looking forward to the next stage in your journey. I like how you’re looking for ways to make the best of things, like through travel. You will go far with such a positive outlook!!
Dear Claire,
I’ve just discovered your blog and have spent many wonderful hours in the last few days reading back through your posts over the last few years. I’m so sorry to hear about this situation. For bookish people like us, feeling out of control can be really difficult, but it sounds like you’ve prepared really well and that a wonderful future is ahead for you.
Thank you for sharing such lovely thoughts over the last few years! And I wish you the very best of luck going forward!
Samantha (A Musical Feast)
I’m glad you’;re taking this with the right spirit. The one time in my life I was fired was probably the best thing it happened to my career. If you want to drop by Brussels, just let me know 🙂
Such a stressful situation for you and your colleagues, and I’m sorry to say an unfortunately common situation these days – literally everyone in my family has been in that situation over the last 10 years, including me. It’s been challenging, but we’ve all come through it. It’s good to know that you already have a plan in place, and I wish you all the best with that.
Feeling shaken is only natural even when you were planning on leaving anyway. Stuff like that is hard for everyone no matter what. I wish you the best on what will surely be exciting new ventures and I hope your coworkers all manage to land on their feet.
Hi Claire, I just discovered your great blog with your title ‘When One Door Closes’ as that saying is helping me keep the faith as I was just let go yesterday after 10 years of being a high performer in my company. I too was anticipating it given the new management team and cost pressures but it still really burns. Looking ahead to a great vacation over the holidays in the Palm Springs area too and second Alex’s invitation to Brussels as that’s where I live too.
Very belated internet hugs, Claire! I’m sorry this is happening, and I hope that you are able to get some psychic rest with the time off. A break like that can sometimes be the very best thing. Hugs hugs hugs.